Maple Dye, "Cry for Suicide"




I wrote this song a long time ago, at a friend's house, the day after surviving a serious attempt of suicide with pills. Besides the song itself, it testifies the state I was in the fact that I recorded it on a tape, and the tape ran out, and I didn't bother to re-record or complete the missing part and just left it at that, until many years later.

It's horrible when you're in your 20s, and your inner circle is mostly composed of cretins, and "the outside world" is what you see in the news, and you suffer every day and simply don't think you have the resources to deal with it.

Why publishing a song like this? Am I a sadist? Well, as any human being, and perhaps more as an artist, I try to "tune-in", to attend to the needs of the present moment. Suicide is one of the rampant, outrageous epidemics we're suffering right now, and, in addition, it is also kind of a taboo. And I think, by making this anguish manifest, instead of leaving it in the background, I can perhaps help someone who is in the situation I was, and make him or her feel vindicated: you're not crazy, you're not alone, this shit is for real.

It's a basic principle of bioenergetics that to feel real happiness, we have to feel sadness sometimes too. If we deny one half of the spectrum, we just become numb to the whole thing, and that's not life, that's Hades.

I don't think the song is going to make me more popular, but I want this "resource" to be available for anyone who can make use of it, and maybe is finding other doors closed. Those who go "ew" or consider these themes are not appropriate for music, can easily forget about this one and find something else to listen. In any case, I don't think artistic creation has the suggestion power it had in the past (for example, it's been documented how Goethe's "The sufferings of young Werther" caused a reaction of suicides among young people... A more gullible and innocent time than the one we're living now...)

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